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Ride Off Road? Keep the Spark!

Dear Lynda,

My partner and I ride off road a lot, and very often all we want to do at the end of the day is sleep. With challenging terrain, scarce shower facilities and lots of camping, lovemaking is becoming a rarity simply because we’re so often physically exhausted and filthy. How can we deal with this better and keep the spark?

~ Elena

Dear Elena,

Turns out the ruts, rocks, and water crossings aren’t the only challenges riders face when navigating off-road, as the two of you are finding. Surprisingly, however, obstacles exist no matter where you are and relationships require a fair amount of attention to keep the spark, and the attendant action, alive. Despite spending all day together you aren’t connecting in some of the important ways necessary to nurture the intimate aspects that separate a great couple relationship from a great friendship.

What are your priorities, and what actions are you taking to make sure you are honoring those? If your partnership is at the top of the list, are you taking the time to sit together, talk together, and create the space for all forms of intimacy, including lovemaking, to occur? Are you devoting the same attention to the two of you that you are putting into riding?

Is it possible to sleep in, take a day off, or arrange an early stop for a date night, even at the campsite, to give you a chance to recover from the physical effort off-roading takes? Purchasing sun showers, buying obscene quantities of baby wipes to clean the grime, or arranging to occasionally make it to a site with running water may help address the filth issue, or simply recognizing dirty sex can be fun as long as you’re both on an equal footing regarding stink and dust.

A combination of determination, creativity, and willingness to make it happen are needed, as well as the understanding that there are many kinds of intimate moments such as quickies, stress relievers, and romantic interludes. Not all require clean sheets, clean bodies, and copious amounts of time. Perhaps something as simple as carrying a blanket along on your bikes just in case you find the perfect remote location for a picnic might be all that’s needed to re-ignite that spark you’ve been missing.




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