Tips for the Lusty Single Gal: Women Only

BY: ANNA NEYMUS

Despite popular belief, research has made it clear that ladies have lusty needs equal to—if not surpassing—men. For too long, women have been thought of as not just the psychologically weaker sex, but the less sexually inclined, too.

Turns out, that’s a bogus idea. For centuries this fiction has been perpetuated, and we ladies have been told we don’t want it outside the confines of a committed relationship—if at all—and that it’s our “wifely duties” to perform when the time comes, as opposed to our equal, and wondrous, feminine pleasure.

As the door creaked open, a thin beam of light shone onto the empty bunks. Sleeping in a black singlet and boy-cut undies, I quietly reached across my thighs to pull the threadbare sheet up over my warm body, not having expected anyone to come in at that hour of the night. I lay on my side in the shadows as an Asian jungle breeze stirred in the window and a tall figure crept quietly to the bunk next to mine, silently setting his backpack down. The mattress creaked as he sat at the edge of the bed, kicking off his shoes and pulling his white t-shirt up over his dark curls. I held my breath as he exposed his long, tanned torso, toned muscles and perfect body highlighted by the subtle shadows of the night. I’d recently turned twenty six, and my boyfriend and I had broken up shortly after beginning the journey together. And though I hadn’t touched a man in months, it hadn’t stopped me from spending hours of my riding day in anguished fantasy, steamy made-up scenes playing over and over in my mind. I could barely stand it. Did other girls experience this? Was there something wrong with me?—I’d often wondered. The young Adonis stood up, unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them to the floor…     – Anna

Our underlying mammalian human nature dictates the truth, no matter how hard society pretends otherwise. And while men and women are treated in striking contrast when they act on these primate desires, women should never be made to feel wrong or immoral, as is the sad case. Eventually, society will be forced to recognize the uncomfortable sexual truths about their mothers, sisters and daughters. And if you’re on the solo road for months at a time, you can be pretty sure the mood’s gonna strike sooner or later. The question is how you choose to deal with it, and what happens when the urge is too strong or you meet someone special (or just really hot). And maybe you do happen to meet a hot stranger on the road? Perhaps even fall in love? Here at WADVR, we believe you should do what you feel is right for you.

A few things to keep in mind:

• Obviously, you don’t need to be told ‘safety first’. And yet: safety first! We’re not just talking about rubbers here (although needless to say, that’s very important and any solo woman traveler interested in men should consider carrying some). Just make sure your love affairs don’t take you to dodgy places with sketchy people. He suggested you go to his, but you don’t really know the guy, or he’s in a dodgy part of town? Play it safer and see how things go over the next couple of days, or get a hotel room if you’re desperate to get it on. If you’re inviting your recent crush to your hotel room or your tent, make sure there’s an escape plan. And if something feels off—even if you can’t rationally explain it—don’t ever dismiss that gut feeling. Get out of there, pronto. Too shy to say you’re just not feeling it? Make up an excuse, and leave. Your body, your rules.

• More on safety: if you’re going out on the town, have fun, but remain alert… Don’t ever leave your drink unattended, and stick to one or two, not four or five, unless you’re sure you can handle it. Don’t expect others to take care of you, especially if you don’t know the people you’re with very well. Stick to drinks you can open or take the cap off of yourself, and remember that the penalty for illicit drugs in many countries is doled out with frightening repercussions.   

• Prefer to be alone? Don’t be embarrassed to take matters into your own capable hands. These days, tiny vibrators can be readily bought in many countries, including some grocery stores. They’re small enough to hide amongst your things if you’re afraid some snoopy border patrol might find it (and yes, many traveling women have had this fear), yet they’ll give hours of pleasure and might help you get through the solitary nights. Not too shy if it’s found? Check out LELO’s selection online, and splurge (single ladies—or any ladies—won’t regret it).   

• Toying with the idea of a Tinder date abroad—or anywhere else? No judgment from us. We see tons of travelers using it. Just use caution and always meet in a public place and let someone know where you’re off to, with whom, and when to expect you back.

• Even if Prince Charming gallops into your life on a white stallion (or a grey GS), don’t volunteer all your contact and social media info just yet. He may turn out to be the love of your life… or just a dud. Give the new relationship a little time first. Equally, hold off on blogging or vlogging about your new-found crush all over the internet. If Mr. Right turns out to be Mr. Meh, you won’t have to deal with unwanted inquiries about your new relationship.

We believe women should take control of their lives, without letting others dictate life’s rules to them. But we also encourage women to develop strong senses and be good judges of character to keep you safe and happy on the road, and at home. Use your best judgment, and if you’re unsure, talk to a trusted friend, or give yourself the space to think things through.

Be wise, have fun, and stay safe!

*Don’t believe us? Check out these books:

What Do Women Want?: Adventures In the Science of Female Desire by New York Times Magazine contributing writer Daniel Bergner, a must-read for “every woman on earth”, according to Salon.

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships, a New York Times bestseller by Christopher Ryan and Cecilia Jethá.

PHOTO: RTW PAUL